Abuse

i wanted to write about this at a later time in length but i felt a need to touch on this subject before Rosh Hashana even if just a tip of the iceberg i hope its understood correctly and please anyone feel free to share and or differ via email at frumunhappy@gmail.com
It seems as to over the years people have forgotten that a wife must be respected and treated accordingly
t has become that Yom tov beginning by Rosh Hashana is a burden to them and the beginning of abuse to a certain extent!
It is beautiful when a wife , mother , daughter  wants to prepare Yom tov and so on but to force them to is already abuse!
we tend to have forgotten the small line between right and wrong, obligation and courtesy
Lets look back at the Gemara and see how the sages have prepared their own Shabbos which i am sure is alike Yom tov time
one has cleaned the head of a animal another prepared the fish etc etc 
they all chipped in at home and the wife was not a slave!
which again gives a bit of a outlook why would a lady want to become or stay part of this frum world in todays day and age when it has become a cultist movement!