Is it ok to live a two faced life?

Is it OK to live the cover up frum looking sounding life to our family's (kids , husband , parents) and in secret live another life? maybe a life of not being frum at all? or not keeping shabbos? taharas hamishpacha ? cleanliness?
This is a question i was emailed more than once today and i think it is very complex.
I will try to give a honest answer which might actually not be a very clear one or a one simple yes or no , rather it will be different
but before i do so i would love if anyone can give me their insights and experinces on this issue so i can give out the voice of the public instead of just my own experinces and thoughts!
please email me with your thoughts and insights on this subject along with anything you would like to share with me!
frumunhappy@gmail.com